The Art of Cheating

Ahh! The battle is finally over! We have finished our exams!! Yay!!!

During the four days of exams, exams and nothing but exams, I realized that it can be an absolute pain in the butt if you can't remember what you've just learnt 5 minutes ago or you simply just can't remember the definitions for all the nilai murni (moral values) in the P. Moral exams.

And that, my friend, is how I discovered the useful craft of cheating during an exam.

Disclaimer: Do not blame me if you got caught cheating during the exams. I'm not responsible for your exam results and everything you do is at your own risk.

#1 POSITION

So far, what I've learnt about cheating is that a person is most likely to cheat depending on where he or she sits during the exam. If you are sitting too close to the teacher, then you can forget about cheating at all... or you can take the risk.

Who knows? The teacher maybe distracted trying to figure out his new smartphone or they might simply be distracted from sheer boredom itself!

If you had the chance to pick where to sit during the exams, I suggest you try to avoid the following danger zones below...

Obviously, if you plan to cheat, you'd be an idiot if you chose to sit next to the teacher.

Unfortunately, I was the idiot who sat next to the teacher. I sat in front of the whiteboard *sigh*. On the bright side, I got to doodle on the whiteboard though...

I also feel that it isn't very safe if you were to sit next to the door because...

a) The teacher tends to walk a lot and where does she end up standing? Right, at the door to watch the world go by...

b) Even if your teacher wasn't standing there, another teacher (or worst, the principal) walking past might catch you in the act because you'd probably be the first person he/she sees at the entrance of the class.

Based on my experience from years of exams, the easiest way to cheat from another student is to sit diagonally behind the person you'd wanna cheat off. That way, you are able to see the person's answer from behind AND sideways. Like this.

The person you'd wanna cheat off is the green box. To cheat off him/her, you gotta sit at either one of the two blue boxes.

#2 EQUIPMENT

Today, I just sat for my P. Moral exams and it was the blackest moment of my life; I actually kept my notes with me to cheat off....

And the teacher who was watching us was our maths teacher and she was pretty sharp. During the first 5 minutes of the exam, she was going round the class collecting all the notes from some of my classmates who too planned to cheat and hidden it underneath their papers.

Unfortunately for them, the teacher suspected something like that was gonna happen so she checked through everybody's paper and soon, she had a stack of everybody's notes in her hands. I suppose she didn't check some of them because she didn't come to my place at all and I was sitting right next to her too! Hahaha!!!

Luckily, I didn't hide my cheat sheet underneath my exam papers. Instead, I hid it in my pencil box. Which comes to using the right equipments.

This is the pencil box I use everyday (including for today's exam).

Notice my little notes in there? Its a lot easier to see because you can easily pretend to rest your head on the table, casually open up the pencil box to inspect your writing tools as well as inspecting your notes. Just in case.

There is also a great advantage if your pencil box is coloured and scribbled all over like mine. That way, you can write some little notes on it and it'll blend in with the other scribbles!

Another useful equipment to cheat with is your mirror. As it was the first time I've ever cheated, I realised that its difficult to keep track on the whereabouts of the teacher especially if she's behind you.

Its no problem if you could see her in front, but its more risky if she's behind you as you'll never know if she caught you cheating red handed.

That's why small mirrors are useful so that you can see the teacher from behind and if you plan to cheat with a friend of yours who is sitting behind, you can use it to check on his/her answer too.

I realised that another way to cheat is to use a bottle of coke with its label on. Like this bottle.

See the inside of the bottle? You can write some of your notes on the back of the label, pretend to take a drink while peeking at the notes at the same time! Just remember to drink coke or pepsi rather than clear drinks such as water or tea. Otherwise, the teacher may see your written notes underneath the label and take it away.

So you'll have no water and no notes. Too bad...

3# CLOTHINGS

Another way to hid your notes is your clothings. For the girls, you can stick your small notes at the front of your pinafore.

The great thing about this technique is even if you got caught, what is the teacher gonna say if he/she is questioned on how they caught you? They were starring at your breasts? So to aviod embarrasment, they'd probably keep quiet...

As for the guys, you could always hide it in your shirt pocket and take a peek.

But, if you got caught, I don't think you could use the same excuse as the girls cuz you have no breasts. Unless you're a transsexual.

#4 HOW NOT TO CHEAT IN EXAMS

Sure, you now know how to cheat. But I've noticed a lot of cheaters during exams all the time and honestly, some of them are so obvious, its like they'd WANT to get caught!

For example,

Whispering to your friend may be the most convenient way to cheat, but its also the most obvious and easiest way to get caught.

This is probably the dumbest way to cheat...

If you did this in our school and got caught, you'd be in deep shit.

Last tip about cheating is make sure that you have a good relationship with your teacher and classmates because if they don't like you, they'd only be too happy to catch and turn you in.

But just to let you know, cheating shouldn't be the way to pass your exam if you truly cared about your education. You are only cheating yourself and nobody else. The best way to pass your exam is to study hard.

You'll feel so much better when you find out that you've passed without any help!

I feel so guilty right now. Hope the teacher don't see this....

Happy Cheating!