Wednesday, November 9, 2011

How to Annoy Like a Pro

It brings me great satisfaction when it comes to annoying the wits out of my brother. As Daniel's older sis, its my job to makes his life miserable. After 16 years of being on the job, its time I share with you on how to make  life a little rosier by annoying like a pro.

So here's some of the top annoying stuff I do that drives my brother up the walls:

1. Smother him with lots of love


That's right. Straight boys aren't the mushy kind of people. So everyday, I tell my brother how much I love him. Just shove your love right up to his face. It always winds him up. Never gets old.



2. Sing the same song over and over again


Not just any ordinary songs. The really annoying ones like nursery rhymes or some random tunes with the occasional bangs and chorus! (Baba Black sheep is my favorite tune.)



3. Just smile and stare


It really works. Not only is it creepy, its also entertaining to watch his reaction. Plus, you're already being annoying without doing anything! That's the beauty of it. And if you want that extra 'oomph', batter your eyelashes whenever he looks at you.


4. Ask lots of questions


Here are the top questions I ask my brother nearly everyday:

What's up?
Can I play with you?
Isn't my dog so pretty?
Can I cut your hair someday?
Don't you love me?
Can I ride your future motorcycle?
Can I move in with you when we're grown up?
Don't you like my little puppy??
Aww! Isn't my doggie cute?

And so on...



5. Sing along to his favorite song. Badly


Whenever a song comes up on the radio in the car, I'd sing along off tune just for that pained look on my brother's face. Of course, he'd turn the radio up to drown my voice and eventually I'd stop. But I'll sing again a couple of minutes later.


6. Make bets you will never pay


According to Daniel, I owe him RM250 after a countless number of random bets I made with him. But we both know very well that I ain't paying up.


7. Don't follow his directions


Whenever I drive my brother around, he'd constantly give me instructions on what to do. So sometimes, when he tells me to go left, I'd go right. When he tells me to make a U-turn, I'd drive further away from the U-turn and take the longest way back.



8. Sniff. Loudly


I love it whenever Daniel reacts to that. MOM! ANNE IS SNIFFING ME AGAIN!!!



9. Poke at random times


Unlike Facebook, poking people in reality is a lot more entertaining than clicking on a button.

Also, an annoying person should know how to Take a Punch!


Having a brother who is 6ft 4inches tall and a body mass of nearly twice my size, its no laughing matter when he gets mad. Trust me.

But after years of experience, I'm not afraid when he gets mad. I've gotten used to being hit once in a while and I always get yelled at, but that's the price I have to pay to be annoying. Its all worth it though. In fact, it gets us closer each day.


See how close we are? We enjoy each other's company.




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